1 00:00:41,300 --> 00:00:43,570 Hello, boys.Agh. 2 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,110 Someone's here to see you. 3 00:00:45,140 --> 00:00:46,940 Really? 4 00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:48,470 It's Gibby! 5 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,300 I am Gibby. 6 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:53,990 Er, hi, Gibby. 7 00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:55,820 Well, come in, come in. 8 00:00:57,740 --> 00:00:59,540 Can you believe it? It's Gibby. 9 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:00,950 You are the Jonny? 10 00:01:00,980 --> 00:01:02,390 Er, yup. 11 00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:05,650 And you are the Adam. Or just "Adam". 12 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,430 I am the Gibby. 13 00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:09,230 OK. 14 00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:11,030 What an amazing surprise, eh, boys? 15 00:01:11,060 --> 00:01:13,550 Yes, it would be if we... 16 00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:15,110 UNDER HIS BREATH: ..knew who she was. 17 00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:16,910 What? Don't be silly. 18 00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:18,740 It's Gibby. 19 00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:21,020 To them I am a mystery. 20 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,610 Oh. 21 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,010 Oh, Gibby? 22 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,350 Oh, why were you so horrible to Gibby? 23 00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:28,790 What?Who's Gibby? 24 00:01:28,820 --> 00:01:30,230 I am Gibby. 25 00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:32,750 Who, is she? She's your bloody au pair. 26 00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:35,150 So, we have an au pair now, do we? I'll get the potty. 27 00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,430 Not now, stupid, your old au pair. 28 00:01:37,460 --> 00:01:39,730 She's come to visit.Old au pair? 29 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,190 Yes, you were four, and Jonny was a baby. 30 00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:45,020 From Switzerland? Liked animals? 31 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:47,890 Used to cry quite a lot. 32 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,510 The memory of me, it has vanished. 33 00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:54,380 What? Of course the memory of you hasn't vanished. 34 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:59,540 BOTH:The memory of you hasn't vanished. 35 00:02:00,740 --> 00:02:02,540 There we are. 36 00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:06,110 I am Gibby. 37 00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:07,910 Oh, my God. 38 00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:09,740 Come though, darling. 39 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,590 Well, did they remember her? 40 00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:16,310 GIBBY CRIES 41 00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:17,750 She seems stable. 42 00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:19,580 Oh, why did you have to say anything? 43 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,470 What? 44 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,300 KNOCKS ON DOOR Gibby? 45 00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:26,510 Excuse me, I am using the facilities. 46 00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:28,210 She's using the facilities? 47 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,040 URINATING 48 00:02:30,260 --> 00:02:32,060 She's using the facilities. 49 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,030 Well, they're obviously excellent facilities. 50 00:02:38,060 --> 00:02:39,860 She's still in there?Shhh. 51 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:42,830 But who just turns up? Stop it, will you? 52 00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:45,710 So, how long's she staying? Five bleeding nights. 53 00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:47,510 All right, Martin. 54 00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:49,340 Ah, five nights with a total nutjob. 55 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:51,250 She's not a nutjob. 56 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,510 No, he said "total nutjob". MARTIN LAUGHS 57 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,310 Martin. 58 00:02:55,340 --> 00:02:57,140 She's just a little emotional. 59 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,510 Gibby was always a little emotional, wasn't she, Martin? 60 00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:00,950 A little emotional? 61 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,590 Oh, she was so sweet, she used to love it here. 62 00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:06,230 And you know, she's already asked about having a cream tea. 63 00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:08,690 JACKIE LAUGHS Only 40 bloody times. 64 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,090 Sorry, having a cream tea? 65 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,670 What? Like scones and cream and jam? 66 00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,250 Yeah. Don't you remember? 67 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,080 Gibby used to go to the hotel round the corner, 68 00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,830 and have a cream tea every day. 69 00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:20,150 Every day she had a cream tea? 70 00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:22,450 And you let this woman look after your children, did you? 71 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,230 For a whole year.Very good. 72 00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:26,770 While she worked her way through 365 cream teas. 73 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,430 Stop it. 74 00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:30,950 She just tried one once, and was, you know, hooked. 75 00:03:30,980 --> 00:03:33,230 Total nutjob. 76 00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:34,930 Shut up. 77 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,430 You used to adore her, Adam, adore her. 78 00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,110 All right.I return. 79 00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:41,510 Oh. There you are, love. Everything OK now? 80 00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:44,150 Yes. The facilities, they are clean. 81 00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:45,710 Oh. Great. 82 00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:47,270 I sit in the vicinity of the boys? 83 00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:49,100 Um. 84 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,430 The vicinity. 85 00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:56,300 Aw, Gibby and our little babies. 86 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,340 Smile! 87 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,280 CLICK Mum.Ah, lovely. 88 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,030 CLICK Mum.Ah, lovely. 89 00:04:02,060 --> 00:04:03,410 Aw. 90 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:04,910 And now we go for the cream tea? 91 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:05,990 Christ. 92 00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:08,390 Er, not now, Gibby, OK? 93 00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:10,790 But, you are saying the old hotel, 94 00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:13,070 it is still providing the cream teas? 95 00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:15,890 Yes, but we'll get a cream tea another day. 96 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:17,510 Oh. 97 00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,340 Gibby is very sad. 98 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,750 Um. Gibby's also visiting some of the other families 99 00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:25,330 she worked for all those years ago. 100 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,630 Isn't that...Weird? 101 00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:29,750 Yes, I am performing all the visits. 102 00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:32,750 The family Sullivan, they is nice. 103 00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:35,990 The family Goodman, they is very nice. 104 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:37,670 Ooh. 105 00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:41,540 The family Carter, they is the best family. 106 00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:44,050 Um, right. 107 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,880 But they is dead. 108 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,410 But they is dead. 109 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,240 DOORBELL RINGS I'm getting that. 110 00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:51,260 What he said.Yup. 111 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,610 Hello, boys and man. 112 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,440 ALL:Hi.All right, Jim? 113 00:04:56,660 --> 00:04:59,630 No, I'm not all right, actually. 114 00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:01,460 Really?I'm wounded. 115 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,110 JONNY AND ADAM:Wounded? 116 00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:04,790 Oh, God, Jim, come in. 117 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:05,990 Thank you, Martin. 118 00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:08,270 Come no, Milson. Get up there. 119 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,590 Oh, uh, uh. 120 00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,420 That's it. 121 00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:13,330 Where's your wound? 122 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,160 Here. 123 00:05:17,060 --> 00:05:18,830 That's your wound? 124 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,170 I don't have any plasters you see. 125 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:24,110 And what if a dirty microbe got inside the wound 126 00:05:24,140 --> 00:05:27,830 and travelled all the way down to my organs? 127 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,270 Your organs? 128 00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:31,100 Yes, my kidneys, my livers. 129 00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:33,110 You only have one liver, Jim. 130 00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:35,630 I only have one liver now? 131 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:37,460 Everything all right? 132 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,320 Jim's lost one of his livers. Huh? 133 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,870 Do you have a plaster, Jackie? 134 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:44,870 I have a terrible, gaping wound. 135 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:47,150 God.Jonny, get a plaster. 136 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,490 Go on, Puss-face.Ugh.Jonny. 137 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,190 A man und a dog, they is in the house. 138 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:54,020 MILSON WHINES 139 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:57,020 Um, Jim, this is Gibby. 140 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,230 It's Gibby. 141 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,060 The dog, it is large. 142 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,100 Is it? 143 00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:07,090 Um, Gibby's from Switzerland. 144 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,590 In Switzerland, the dogs of the mountain, 145 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:11,410 they is as large as wolves. 146 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,240 Wolves? 147 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,430 Er, Gibby was our au pair. 148 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,710 A pear?Right. 149 00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:20,030 Auf wiedersehen. 150 00:06:20,060 --> 00:06:21,830 JACKIE: Er, thank you. 151 00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:24,110 Plaster.Thanks, Bobble. 152 00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:26,450 Jim, do you want me to do it for you, or? 153 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,280 Can Gibby do my plaster? 154 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:30,740 OK. 155 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:37,100 One, two...Ah, ah!..it is done. 156 00:06:37,220 --> 00:06:38,630 Good boy. 157 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:40,210 Good girl. 158 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,040 Und now I must use the facilities. 159 00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:49,190 Jackie, might I also use the facilities? 160 00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:51,020 Jim, Gibby's using the loo. 161 00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:52,940 URINATING 162 00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:54,860 Yes, Gibby's using the loo. 163 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,920 Yes, Gibby's using the loo. 164 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,790 Goodbye, Jim. 165 00:06:58,820 --> 00:07:00,620 Oh, yes, come on Milson. 166 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,680 Oh, yes, come on Milson. 167 00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:05,990 Yes, Switzerland... 168 00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:08,270 Ugh.Has Professor Bonkers gone? 169 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:09,830 Martin.What? 170 00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,660 Jim fancies Gibby. 171 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,360 Shit on it. 172 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,820 Can't we just start?Shhh. 173 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,830 What's she still doing in there? 174 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,660 Rebuilding the facilities? MESSAGE TONE 175 00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:26,290 Oh, Jim, not again. 176 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,830 What's he want now? 177 00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:30,130 "Is Gibby warm enough in the house?" 178 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,910 Seriously? He met her for one minute. 179 00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:33,350 He's bloody obsessed with her. 180 00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:35,890 MESSAGE TONE Oh.Another one? 181 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,930 "Please ensure Gibby has easy access to fresh water." 182 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,760 Boys, get the hosepipe. 183 00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,740 Yeah, and strangle me with it. JACKIE LAUGHS 184 00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:44,750 I return. 185 00:07:44,780 --> 00:07:46,580 Um, great. 186 00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:48,740 Everything OK now? 187 00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:51,410 Yes. My body, it is emptied. 188 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,240 How nice. 189 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:56,210 Right, tuck in, everyone. JACKIE LAUGHS 190 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,040 Ooh, and there's still about 900,000 potatoes, 191 00:07:58,220 --> 00:07:59,750 so don't be shy. 192 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,580 Mm. 193 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,590 That's it, Martin, don't be shy. 194 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:05,420 Ow. 195 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,470 Gibby, nice? 196 00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:10,790 Gibby is nice? 197 00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:12,620 Er, the food, do you like the taste? 198 00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:16,550 Mm, this is a difficult question. 199 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,230 Really? Why? 200 00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:20,030 Because there is no taste. 201 00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,860 And you're staying here how long? 202 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,630 For the five nights. 203 00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:25,460 Oh, yes, the five nights. 204 00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:29,270 Actually, Jackie, the taste that is the best for me 205 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,100 is the taste of the cream tea. 206 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,750 Bloody hell. 207 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:36,530 You know, with the scone and the cream. 208 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:37,910 Um, yeah, love. 209 00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:40,210 And the jam of the berries of the straw. 210 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,040 Strawberry jam. 211 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:45,110 So, we are getting the cream tea now, ja? 212 00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:48,370 Now?Er, not now, Gibby, OK? Maybe tomorrow? 213 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,200 Hmmm? 214 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,620 This is a tragedy. 215 00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:57,350 WHISPERS:Five nights. 216 00:08:57,380 --> 00:08:59,180 DOORBELL RINGS Oh, Jim?Obviously. 217 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,240 DOORBELL RINGS Oh, Jim?Obviously. 218 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,730 Obviously.Hmmm? 219 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,510 Nothing. What do you want? 220 00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:07,340 Er. 221 00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:10,940 Great. 222 00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:13,330 Um, I must apologise, 223 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,310 but I think I left something in your house, 224 00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:19,090 you know, when I was here earlier. 225 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,920 Really? What? 226 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,270 How's Gibby? 227 00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:24,950 Erm, fine. 228 00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:27,250 What did you lose, Jim? Where's Gibby? 229 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,630 She's in the dining room. What did you lose? 230 00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:33,170 Yes, I lost it in the dining room. 231 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,990 No, you didn't lose it in the dining room 232 00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:38,290 because you didn't go in the dining room, remember? 233 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,950 You were just here. 234 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:43,820 Yes, well, maybe the thing that I lost... 235 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,880 ..it rolled all the way from here 236 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,960 ..it rolled all the way from here 237 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,390 into the dining room. 238 00:09:50,420 --> 00:09:54,260 OK, and the thing that you lost was? 239 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,490 A marble.Of course it was. 240 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,230 Yes, it was a particularly round marble 241 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:05,270 because it rolled all the way from here to remain... 242 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:09,140 Jim?..here. 243 00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,180 Hello, all.Pissing heck. 244 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:12,830 Oh, hi, Jim. 245 00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,510 Jim's lost a pretend marble. 246 00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:17,170 Pretend marble?Real marble. 247 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,000 Huh? 248 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,170 Hello... 249 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,790 ..Gibby. 250 00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:24,370 Jim. 251 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,250 JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY 252 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,030 Is that all, Jim, or..? 253 00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,770 Um, oh, yes. 254 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,270 Actually, no. 255 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:35,870 There is something I need to talk to Gibby about. 256 00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:39,470 Really?Um... 257 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,300 ..Switzerland. 258 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,340 Mm-hmm. 259 00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:47,540 Well, thanks, Jim, so if you could... 260 00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:49,580 JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY 261 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:51,500 Martin? 262 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:54,950 Come on, Jim. GIBBY LAUGHS 263 00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,780 Come on. 264 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:58,700 Right.Argh. 265 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,760 Right.Argh. 266 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,450 My God. 267 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,690 Erm, sorry about him, Gibby. 268 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,230 He is a nice man? 269 00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:09,350 Hm.Um.He has the fat legs? 270 00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:11,750 What?I'm sorry?Fat legs? 271 00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:14,990 Because the man I was with, I am having to finish with him 272 00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:16,820 because he has the fat legs. 273 00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:18,740 So, normal reasons, then. 274 00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:21,350 Jackie, you think Jim has the fat legs? 275 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:23,180 Er, I wouldn't really know that, love. 276 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,240 Er, I wouldn't really know that, love. 277 00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,500 GIBBY MOANS ANXIOUSLY 278 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,580 Nearly broke my bleeding back. 279 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:33,560 GIBBY MOANS 280 00:11:35,540 --> 00:11:37,340 Everything all right, there, Gibby? 281 00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:39,230 She's thinking about the fat legs. 282 00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:40,690 The fat legs? 283 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,070 Um.You OK, love? 284 00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:47,410 I am just remembering living in the house with the Goodman family. 285 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,390 It is the happiest time in the life for Gibby. 286 00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:52,790 Ah, sweetie. 287 00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:56,390 Sometimes I wished you was my family. 288 00:11:56,420 --> 00:12:00,280 GIBBY SOBS 289 00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:05,630 Oh, come here, love. 290 00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:06,950 Don't be sad. 291 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:09,710 CRIES:Ja-ck-ie! 292 00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:13,550 Jackie, there is only one thing in the world that can make me 293 00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:15,380 feel happy in this moment. 294 00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,300 Really? And what's that? 295 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,790 I mean, it's ridiculous. 296 00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:25,190 Going for a cream tea halfway through dinner? 297 00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:26,030 Who wants to bloody do that? 298 00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:27,470 I want to bloody do that. 299 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,300 That's cos you'll eat anything at any time. 300 00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:31,220 Yeah, is there anything you won't eat, ever? 301 00:12:31,340 --> 00:12:34,450 Erm, wasps? 302 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,070 Oh, hurry up with the facilities. 303 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,900 You OK, Gibby? 304 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:42,950 I am now re-emptied. 305 00:12:42,980 --> 00:12:44,780 Mazeltov. Let's go. 306 00:12:46,820 --> 00:12:49,190 Oh, crab. What are you doing there? 307 00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:53,060 Oh, just looking for my very round marble. 308 00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,660 Hello, Gibby. 309 00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,700 Hello, the Jim. 310 00:12:58,960 --> 00:12:59,750 Hello, the Jim. 311 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,150 Well, we're just popping out now, so... 312 00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:05,030 Oh, where are you "popping" to? 313 00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:06,590 WHISPERS: Don't tell him. 314 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,350 We go to the old hotel Welmsley to have the cream tea. 315 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:12,110 You put cream in your tea? 316 00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,910 It's a creamy tea? 317 00:13:13,940 --> 00:13:15,740 Goodbye. 318 00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:18,140 Oh, I forget. 319 00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:21,620 Gibby. 320 00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,780 Oh-oh-oh! 321 00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:32,180 Hmmm. 322 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,300 Gibby fancies Jim. 323 00:13:49,050 --> 00:13:50,820 Well, here we are. 324 00:13:50,850 --> 00:13:54,660 Oh, my mouth is very excited for the taste of the cream tea. 325 00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:57,420 Is your mouths very excited for the taste of the cream tea? 326 00:13:57,450 --> 00:14:00,420 Oh, yes, we all have very excited mouths. 327 00:14:00,450 --> 00:14:02,940 And now I must use the facilities. 328 00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:04,140 Bloody hell. 329 00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:05,960 Can't we just dump her here for five nights? 330 00:14:05,990 --> 00:14:07,400 What? The hotel or the car park? 331 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,940 Either will do. 332 00:14:08,970 --> 00:14:10,260 Come on. 333 00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:12,540 Wait. That's Bradley. 334 00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:13,380 Bradley? 335 00:14:13,410 --> 00:14:15,780 It is. I haven't seen him for about 40 years. 336 00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:17,610 We went to school together. 337 00:14:17,730 --> 00:14:19,400 Oh, God... HE GASPS 338 00:14:19,430 --> 00:14:20,460 He's lost an arm. 339 00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:21,660 Poor Bradley. 340 00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:23,100 Oh, dear. 341 00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,930 Erm, excuse me. 342 00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:26,850 I don't believe it! It's Martin bloody Goodman. 343 00:14:27,110 --> 00:14:28,740 I don't believe it! It's Martin bloody Goodman. 344 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:29,820 That's right! 345 00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,020 Hello, Bradley. 346 00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:32,100 Er, Neville. 347 00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,480 Oh, yes, I meant Neville. 348 00:14:33,510 --> 00:14:35,940 Erm, Shirley, this is Martin. We went to school together. 349 00:14:35,970 --> 00:14:37,160 Lovely to meet you. 350 00:14:37,190 --> 00:14:38,990 Oh, yes, this is my family. 351 00:14:39,270 --> 00:14:39,780 Oh, yes, this is my family. 352 00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:41,100 The wife. 353 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,930 And, er, the children. 354 00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:44,220 Thank you. 355 00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,050 You know, lads, me and your dad got up to no end of mischief at school. 356 00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:48,060 You know, lads, me and your dad got up to no end of mischief at school. 357 00:14:48,090 --> 00:14:49,380 Really?Did you? 358 00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:53,000 Remember old Hasting's car, when we let down all his tyres? 359 00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:54,540 What? No. 360 00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:55,620 Yeah, by the main hall. 361 00:14:55,650 --> 00:14:57,420 And we did Miss Gant's tyres. 362 00:14:57,450 --> 00:14:58,620 Did we? 363 00:14:58,650 --> 00:15:00,450 And Mr Dudley's tyres. Don't you remember?Erm... 364 00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:01,500 And Mr Dudley's tyres. Don't you remember?Erm... 365 00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:02,700 He doesn't have the best memory. 366 00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:04,530 He hasn't got a memory! 367 00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:08,220 Er, by the way, I'm so sorry. When, er... 368 00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:10,050 When did that happen? 369 00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:12,330 When did what happen? 370 00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:13,620 Your arm. 371 00:15:13,650 --> 00:15:15,240 My arm?His arm? 372 00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:17,070 Are you joking or something? 373 00:15:17,190 --> 00:15:19,500 Sorry?I didn't have an arm when I knew you. 374 00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:20,840 - Oh, God. Didn't you? 375 00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,670 No. I was born without an arm. 376 00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:23,340 No. I was born without an arm. 377 00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:25,170 Shit. I must have forgot. 378 00:15:26,130 --> 00:15:27,930 Er... 379 00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:32,100 Um... Well, nice to have met you all. 380 00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,540 Yeah, really nice. 381 00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:35,100 You've never had an arm? 382 00:15:35,130 --> 00:15:36,420 Goodbye, Martin. 383 00:15:36,450 --> 00:15:37,860 Yeah, see you, Bradley. 384 00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:39,690 Neville. 385 00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:41,960 Well, that wasn't the most 386 00:15:41,990 --> 00:15:44,340 embarrassing conversation of all time.Yeah, well done, dad. 00:15:45,960 Fancy not remembering he didn't have an arm! 388 00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:48,300 All right. I remembered he didn't have a tail. 389 00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:49,020 Martin! 390 00:15:49,050 --> 00:15:50,850 Hello, all. THEY ALL GROAN 391 00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:54,930 Is this the right place for a creamy tea? 392 00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:59,100 Ooh! Oh, Jim! Oh, no! 393 00:15:59,130 --> 00:16:00,930 Naughty Mr Metal Spoon is coming back for more! 394 00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:02,700 Naughty Mr Metal Spoon is coming back for more! 395 00:16:02,730 --> 00:16:03,720 No, Jim, no! 396 00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:05,550 Please make it stop. 397 00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:08,270 CLATTERING 398 00:16:08,610 --> 00:16:10,860 Erm, five cream teas? 399 00:16:10,890 --> 00:16:11,940 Thank God. 400 00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:13,770 There you are. 401 00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:16,590 And one... 402 00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:19,140 ..creamy... tea. 403 00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:25,050 Ahh, creamy tea. 404 00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:29,700 HE GROWLS SOFTLY 405 00:16:29,730 --> 00:16:31,530 Lovely and thick. 406 00:16:33,570 --> 00:16:38,340 25 years I am waiting for the delicious cream tea. 407 00:16:38,370 --> 00:16:41,100 Well, I hope you enjoy it as much as you used to. 408 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,220 I hope so also, Jackie. 409 00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:46,050 Very much. 410 00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:53,820 Well?Well? 411 00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:55,650 Oh...Gibby? 412 00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,260 The cream is just too much sweet. 413 00:16:58,290 --> 00:17:00,680 The jam, it is too much not sweet. 414 00:17:00,710 --> 00:17:01,740 And the scone... 415 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,570 SHE SNIFFS 416 00:17:04,070 --> 00:17:05,870 It is smelly. 417 00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:07,890 "Smelly"? 418 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:12,110 SHE SOBS 419 00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:18,030 JIM SLURPS LOUDLY 420 00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:22,530 Well, this is terrific. 421 00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:24,590 Well, this is terrific. 422 00:17:27,110 --> 00:17:30,420 Oh, come on, Gibby, come out now. 423 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:31,980 I do not never come out. 424 00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:33,420 What a shame. 425 00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:35,100 What are we meant to do? 426 00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:36,930 Nothing. She just spends the next five nights locked in a hotel bog. 427 00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,220 Nothing. She just spends the next five nights locked in a hotel bog. 428 00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:39,900 Yup.Where's your father? 429 00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:41,730 Er, he's just finishing his five cream teas. 430 00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:42,920 Er, he's just finishing his five cream teas. 431 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:44,750 SHE SIGHS 432 00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:47,150 Oh, come out, will you? 433 00:17:47,430 --> 00:17:47,720 Oh, come out, will you? 434 00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:50,340 Jackie, I've finished my creamy tea 435 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:54,210 and now I'm all ready to liberate Gibby. 436 00:17:54,470 --> 00:17:54,780 and now I'm all ready to liberate Gibby. 437 00:17:54,810 --> 00:17:56,610 You're going to liberate Gibby, are you, Jim? 438 00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:57,180 You're going to liberate Gibby, are you, Jim? 439 00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,500 Yes, Jackie. 440 00:17:58,530 --> 00:18:00,900 Right. And what are you going to do? Kick the door down? 441 00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:02,460 Erm... 442 00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,290 Stand back, please. 443 00:18:10,530 --> 00:18:13,500 444 00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:15,300 445 00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:17,130 446 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,050 447 00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:21,090 448 00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:23,010 side 449 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:25,500 therefore 450 00:18:25,530 --> 00:18:27,330 451 00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,390 452 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,370 DOOR OPENS 453 00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:40,380 Thank you, Jim. 454 00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,210 It is beautiful. 455 00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:53,220 We're going. 456 00:18:53,250 --> 00:18:54,780 What do you mean we're going? Don't ask. 457 00:18:54,810 --> 00:18:57,060 I've still got another three cream teas to get through. 458 00:18:57,090 --> 00:18:58,890 Come on.Jackie! 459 00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:01,070 Come on! 460 00:19:02,610 --> 00:19:03,780 I'm sorry, Martin. 461 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,180 The girl's too much. She's just too much. 462 00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:08,700 Hm?Ugh! Martin! 463 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,500 Dad...What? 464 00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:12,330 Your tyres? 465 00:19:12,570 --> 00:19:14,370 Oh, crap. 466 00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:17,490 I wonder who did that? 467 00:19:18,210 --> 00:19:20,520 Neville sodding Bradley git. 468 00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,350 Right, well, here we are, then, Jim. 469 00:19:22,470 --> 00:19:24,270 Yes, here we are. 470 00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:27,690 Not you. 471 00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:30,930 Oh, Jim is not here? 472 00:19:31,050 --> 00:19:32,840 No, he's just had to pop home and... 473 00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:34,380 Make love to his dog. 474 00:19:34,410 --> 00:19:35,580 Ow! 475 00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:37,860 Gibby is so sad without Jim. 476 00:19:37,890 --> 00:19:40,500 Yes, well, I'm sure you'll survive. 477 00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:44,360 Why don't you come and have a nice little sit-down in the living room? 478 00:19:44,390 --> 00:19:45,420 On the own? 479 00:19:45,450 --> 00:19:47,250 That's right - on the own. 480 00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:50,730 Mum? 481 00:19:50,850 --> 00:19:52,650 Upstairs. 482 00:19:57,570 --> 00:19:59,370 Ooh, what about this place? 483 00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,740 Martin, you've shown me that place five times already. 484 00:20:01,770 --> 00:20:03,540 It's fully booked.All right. 485 00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:06,300 Isn't it a bit mean to just stick her in a hotel for the weekend? 486 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,130 Boys, it's only a couple of nights. 487 00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:08,820 Boys, it's only a couple of nights. 488 00:20:08,850 --> 00:20:10,650 This place? Oh, my God, it's the same place! 489 00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:12,060 Right, move. I'm doing it. 490 00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:13,260 SHE SIGHS 491 00:20:13,290 --> 00:20:16,040 Boys, please give your father Internet lessons. 492 00:20:16,070 --> 00:20:17,870 Bloody Internet. 493 00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:20,840 There's got to be somewhere near that's got a room. 494 00:20:20,870 --> 00:20:22,140 That place looks all right. 495 00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:23,880 Does it look all right? 496 00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:25,710 "I found a rat in my room." 497 00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:27,300 The London Rat Hotel. 498 00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:28,740 Oh, shit. 499 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,140 You know, we're the ones that should be staying in a hotel, 500 00:20:31,170 --> 00:20:32,940 Jackie, not old Giblet features. 501 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:34,020 Ha-ha! 502 00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:36,300 Having a bit of time to ourselves. 503 00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:37,140 Dad! 504 00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:38,700 Having a bit of nippy-nippy. 505 00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:41,480 Argh!Oh, my God, you're animals! 506 00:20:41,510 --> 00:20:43,310 Oh, just go downstairs, then, if you don't like it. 507 00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:43,860 Oh, just go downstairs, then, if you don't like it. 508 00:20:43,890 --> 00:20:45,180 We don't like it.Yeah. 509 00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:47,010 Enjoy your five nights here with Gibby-Gibby and no nippy-nippy. 510 00:20:47,270 --> 00:20:49,070 Enjoy your five nights here with Gibby-Gibby and no nippy-nippy. 511 00:20:49,190 --> 00:20:50,990 Sods. 512 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,220 I mean... JIM:Gibby! 513 00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,050 SHE LAUGHS Oh, Casanova's back. 514 00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:00,930 MUSIC PLAYS 515 00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:02,990 MUSIC PLAYS 516 00:21:07,050 --> 00:21:08,460 Terrific evening. 517 00:21:08,490 --> 00:21:10,290 And jump! 518 00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:20,370 Er, Jonny?What? 519 00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:27,330 Er, why are Mum and Dad driving off in your car? 520 00:21:28,230 --> 00:21:30,030 Oi!Mum? Dad?Hey! 521 00:21:30,210 --> 00:21:32,010 Come back! 522 00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:33,930 Where are they bloody going?!Right! 523 00:21:35,130 --> 00:21:36,930 What's going on?! Adam? 524 00:21:37,190 --> 00:21:38,990 What's going on?! Adam? 525 00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:42,210 What's that? Obviously they're not answering. 526 00:21:42,470 --> 00:21:45,960 The shits."Found a room in a rat-free hotel. Back late Sunda 527 00:21:45,990 --> 00:21:47,580 Oh, my God!The shits! 528 00:21:47,610 --> 00:21:49,260 "Please look after Gibby." 529 00:21:49,290 --> 00:21:51,660 They want us to look after Gibby?! Bastards! 530 00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:54,660 What's dad put here? Oh, "Two words, - nippy-nippy." 531 00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:56,340 Nice touch.I can't believe it. 532 00:21:56,370 --> 00:21:58,760 They've just dumped us here with bloody...Hello? 533 00:21:58,790 --> 00:22:00,590 The mother and the father, they is gone? 534 00:22:00,870 --> 00:22:01,160 The mother and the father, they is gone? 535 00:22:01,190 --> 00:22:04,860 Er, they've just had to go away for a couple of days, Gibby. 536 00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:06,180 Yeah. 537 00:22:06,210 --> 00:22:10,050 But... who will look after Gibby? 538 00:22:12,450 --> 00:22:14,250 BOTH:We will look after Gibby. 539 00:22:15,930 --> 00:22:19,740 Can we do some more erotic dancing, now, Gibby? 540 00:22:19,770 --> 00:22:21,570 Jim, I am thinking we have the upstairs of the house 541 00:22:21,830 --> 00:22:22,500 Jim, I am thinking we have the upstairs of the house 542 00:22:22,530 --> 00:22:24,330 to ourselves tonight. 543 00:22:24,450 --> 00:22:25,620 Oh, God. 544 00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:28,380 Maybe we can be having some fun. 545 00:22:28,410 --> 00:22:30,210 Ooh, Gibby... 546 00:22:31,170 --> 00:22:32,970 Ahh... Ahh! 547 00:22:33,030 --> 00:22:34,500 Er... 548 00:22:34,530 --> 00:22:38,340 You are liking what you are seeing? 549 00:22:38,370 --> 00:22:40,140 Oh, yes, Gibby. 550 00:22:40,170 --> 00:22:41,480 Guys... 551 00:22:41,510 --> 00:22:43,310 Maybe you are liking to see some more? 552 00:22:43,590 --> 00:22:45,390 Maybe you are liking to see some more? 553 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,750 HE BREATHES RAPIDLY 554 00:22:50,010 --> 00:22:51,810 Wolves! Wolves! 555 00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:53,870 Wolves! Wolves! 556 00:22:54,210 --> 00:22:56,010 HE WHIMPERS 557 00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:59,010 HE SCREAMS 558 00:22:59,970 --> 00:23:01,500 Oh... 559 00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:03,330 Oh. 560 00:23:05,370 --> 00:23:07,140 I use the facilities. 561 00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:10,260 this place 562 00:23:10,290 --> 00:23:14,820 563 00:23:14,850 --> 00:23:17,580 564 00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:22,020 565 00:23:22,050 --> 00:23:25,160 this place 566 00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:26,990 * But I'm still, I'm still an animal... * 567 00:23:27,270 --> 00:23:28,620 * But I'm still, I'm still an animal... * 568 00:23:28,650 --> 00:23:30,450 Subtitles by Red Bee Media